Super weekend full of.... school? Yikes!

Ok so i am taking classes for my masters degree, and seriously what an awesome weekend of class! Yuck! I have class every other weekend Friday nights and all day Saturday. What an awesome way to spend my weekend. But the other weekends aren't too exciting either. I will just be glad when i have made it through and gotten to the end. My classes are fun and beneficial, dont get me wrong it's just lame that i have nothing better to do.

And my mom is back in the hospital with pneumonia. It is sad how sick she gets so often. And my dad is in Reno for his regional baseball meeting, so I am doing what i can to help out.

I am still living the up and down roller coaster of my relationship.... Not strong enough to jump either way. And i feel like life is just kind of standing still. I hope that i will find light again soon and make progress instead of standing at a stand still...

Other than that i am dreading my birthday this week. I will be 25 and only getting older! Maybe i will write again telling you all how old and lame i am hahaha. That would be exciting! I am not really doing much for my birthday. Maybe i will go visit my sister, seeing as it is her birthday too!!

Anyway another lame day to check off the calendar.

YOURS TRULY,
WAITING FOR AN ADVENTURE

Never settle for less than you deserve!!

Today i realized something HUGE.... You can't let happiness go when you have worked so hard to get it back. Recently i had a really rough time in life where i felt really low and down. I didn't even know what to do. But i worked really hard to stay positive and keep trying. I finally got to a point where i really honestly was happy again. Maybe even the happiest i have been in a long long time. Then i let something get in the way, and almost ruin it again. Something i thought i had always wanted, but when it was finally right in front of me, it left me with an awful feeling. I just felt dark and not right, so i had to send it away, i had to let go. And to be honest i thought it would be a lot harder, but i actually feel pretty darn good that i was strong enough to actually do it! I am proud that when i didn't feel right i follwed my heart and let it go, so that i could save my happiness, save myself from darkness. How lucky am i, even though i have distanced myself from the church and my faith.... I have held on to enough to still pull through when i needed it. I have been trying to find myself bit by bit, just in time to avoid the pain of what i had just escaped.

Thank you to all of those who have listend to my story of these events time after time after time, those who have delt with my rollercoaster of emotions with this boy, and who have loved me and supported me no matter what stupid choices i make again and again. I know its been a long road these last 2 years, and i know i made my fair share of dumb choices with situations before this as well, heck you don't end up with an ex husband and a dud boyfriend of 2 years at the age of 24 without making a few dumb choices along the way... I am just lucky to still be alive, and that my choices haven't left me to die, or to a dead end where i can't learn and grow and hopefully end up in a much better situation.

I just pray that i will remember this lesson, and continue to put my needs and feelings first. That i will remain a strong woman who fights for herself. And that all of us with strive for happiness no matter how dark the road ahead looks...

Only a few more days....

Ok so i have been off track for two weeks now, and i am now down to the last few days. I have tried to do all of the things i don't have time for when i am working. Like get my hair done, going to the dentist, getting a flu shot, visiting and meeting with friends, cleaning my house extra good, getting all my laundry done, organizing my closet, catching up on movies and tv shows, sleeping in once in awhile and reading tons and tons of books! And my favorite, spending lots of time with Ade and Gunnar and Brittany. It's so funny being off track. I feel like i get so much done, i even catch a few moments of boredom and sometimes i even think i am ready to go back... but as soon as time to go back gets closer i still get that anxious feeling i used to get as a kid when summer vacation was ending....Then i feel like there is so much i have to do before i go back... i just can't think of what.. It's like a Roller coaster. But The time off has been fun, and well needed. I get to go back just in time for Parent Teacher Conferences... Yahoo! What a party!