Never settle for less than you deserve!!

Today i realized something HUGE.... You can't let happiness go when you have worked so hard to get it back. Recently i had a really rough time in life where i felt really low and down. I didn't even know what to do. But i worked really hard to stay positive and keep trying. I finally got to a point where i really honestly was happy again. Maybe even the happiest i have been in a long long time. Then i let something get in the way, and almost ruin it again. Something i thought i had always wanted, but when it was finally right in front of me, it left me with an awful feeling. I just felt dark and not right, so i had to send it away, i had to let go. And to be honest i thought it would be a lot harder, but i actually feel pretty darn good that i was strong enough to actually do it! I am proud that when i didn't feel right i follwed my heart and let it go, so that i could save my happiness, save myself from darkness. How lucky am i, even though i have distanced myself from the church and my faith.... I have held on to enough to still pull through when i needed it. I have been trying to find myself bit by bit, just in time to avoid the pain of what i had just escaped.

Thank you to all of those who have listend to my story of these events time after time after time, those who have delt with my rollercoaster of emotions with this boy, and who have loved me and supported me no matter what stupid choices i make again and again. I know its been a long road these last 2 years, and i know i made my fair share of dumb choices with situations before this as well, heck you don't end up with an ex husband and a dud boyfriend of 2 years at the age of 24 without making a few dumb choices along the way... I am just lucky to still be alive, and that my choices haven't left me to die, or to a dead end where i can't learn and grow and hopefully end up in a much better situation.

I just pray that i will remember this lesson, and continue to put my needs and feelings first. That i will remain a strong woman who fights for herself. And that all of us with strive for happiness no matter how dark the road ahead looks...